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04:09pm 31/07/2008
  I should just say goodbye and ask that in my pursuit to forget him that he deviate from letting me know that even if it is the slightest, that I am within his thoughts. Is it a year later and it still hurts. I hate that it all appears so dire, it's foolish really.  
     

(I did some time)

 
   
12:26pm 29/07/2008
  I started watching the grave of the fireflies live action and I think twenty minutes into it and I was already bawling my eyes out. Oh lordy... here we go.  
     

(2 Times | I did some time)

 
...oh j-drama.   
10:08pm 17/07/2008
  So I'm kinda mad that I've started watching Gokusen live action again and I can't tear myself away.  
     

(I did some time)

 
.so....   
10:26am 28/06/2008
  So... I woke up today and saw jenny craig's number written on my right butt cheek.  
     

(I did some time)

 
.It was fine, but it just fell apart.   
12:54am 24/06/2008
  I fell in love with a man a couple years ago and I find that I still have feelings for him. Who knows whether or not I've made the right decisions in resuming to feel for him, to interact with him, but I feel a definite sensation of growth and of depth. In him I see the things of which I aspire to contain. With him, I feel inspiration, hope, as well as longing. I think that maybe the things I endure while with him, although not dire as they once were, help me to find solace in what they may do for my efforts in adapting to autonomy. To have seen my own pain before anyone else's has given me a profound sense of grief. It is not my place to bestow a burden of concern for those who love me, for those who see me now with a sense of accomplishment and hope. In diverging from my life in Lillington to the now post James era, I have learned a great deal about the importance to catering to one's own happiness, to having one's own life separate and independent from those of whom we once believed to have fed us. Things are uncertain for me lately, the idea of resuming a broken relationship haunts me, but the idea of working together to rectify the bond between myself and a man who has been found, this is what gives me hope. In retrospect I had taken advantage of our relationship towards the middle and he during the latter part had taken advantage of me. Why the relationship ended, why he needed to be apart from me, I truly understand. I have forgiven him and most importantly I have forgiven myself. I trust that his intentions and his heart are always in the right motive. He has never laid a hand on me, and any mental abuse I may have endeavored surely was just a product of my own insecurities. But when it ended it broke me. I picked up the pieces of my life from where he left me, from where I was to begin again: a small room with pink walls and one lamp with a tattered shade. Apart from him I began to see who I was, who I wanted to be, but there was still the sensation of losing him that led me to unsavory actions and from each one I reflected upon it's consequences. I learned to love my family again and I gained new friendships and rekindled old ones which became more pertinent. I find hope in forgiveness in those who have trespassed against me, just as they forgive my trespasses against them. History may be repeating itself, however I feel I can change things this time around.  
     

(3 Times | I did some time)

 
   
04:06pm 07/06/2008
  I was trying to type in a URL when I looked up and this was what came out: l,m\\\\\\ok

...weird.
 
     

(I did some time)

 
   
10:40am 20/05/2008
  sooo I'm single again. haha~  
     

(1 Time | I did some time)

 
   
09:58am 04/05/2008
  ...Every fucking morning at 9 a.m. my fucking neighbors from downstairs play their damn repetitious music for hours and I can hear/ feel it coming from living room floor. I'm about to beat some ass.  
     

(1 Time | I did some time)

 
.Why I love the bathroom.   
01:07pm 26/04/2008
  because...

you can take a shit and post an entry on livejournal at the same time, multitasking in style.
 
     

(I did some time)

 
   
04:55am 26/04/2008
  ...seriously when you're not in the fucking room especially when it's 4 fucking a.m. in the fucking shit ass early fucking morning when I'm trying to sleep, turn off the the fucking light and computer.

and tell those birds to shut the fuck up. >_<
It's called conservation of energy and not pissing me off, thanks.
 
     

(I did some time)

 
so...   
12:35am 16/02/2008
  I'm thinking about entering in the art contest at Wake Tech. I'm supposed to send in some sort of art depicting anything pertinent to women. I hope I come up with something good.  
     

(2 Times | I did some time)

 
.it's a guy thing.   
11:45pm 05/01/2008
  I guess I'm just convenient sex to some people. The whole thing is my fault, I let myself get into these situations and hardly think twice before engaging in them. Yeah, I'm an idiot, I get that.  
     

(I did some time)

 
.Where's all the happy?.   
12:28pm 09/12/2007
  I'm seriously excited about this Christmas, first time I've bought my friends all presents with my own funds.  
     

(I did some time)

 
.Fuck, fuck, fuck, and fuck.   
04:48am 09/12/2007
  It's 4:48 in the morning I just woke up after 2 hours of sleep and I can't seem to fall back. Tonight was fun, it's just suddenly everything that has gone wrong is left hanging on my mind.
....AGH.
 
     

(I did some time)

 
   
11:38pm 07/12/2007
  I am seriously going to kill me some bitches.
This douche in a hat totally cut me off while I was in the right hand turning lane at a red light.
...Mother fucker there's a reason why there's one lane going left and one going right and a stop light. When red, you stop, mother fucker. Then this asshat totally is going into the same apartment complex I'm headed towards and tries to speed up so that I won't catch up with them, guess again, mother fucker. Oh, and this bitch almost hit me as I was turning right at a green light while they, on the opposite side, tried to make a left...

Today is not my day, I'm about to stuff my face once Kathryn gets off work.
 
     

(I did some time)

 
.man problems.   
11:27am 01/12/2007
  It sucks, I'm dealing, I'm being dumb, whatever.  
     

(I did some time)

 
.People who hire you are sometimes dumb.   
03:14pm 19/11/2007
  So apparently I'm now employed at Aeropostale for the holiday and am scheduled to work this Friday... Well it'd be fine and everything, although it conflicts horribly with with schedule at Kanki, considering I'm working all day. Well I think I do want this job solely for the discount and if I have to work on the most frustrating day of the fucking year, why not. I'm getting paid better at Kanki, this side job will help me for funding presents. God, I hate the holidays. Oh yeah, my cousin called me to let me know I was working with her this Friday, not the manager, my cousin. Kanki already put out the schedule for this weekend this past Friday. Damn.

I'll work it out in the end.
 
     

(I did some time)

 
.ARGH!.   
10:16pm 15/11/2007
  Somehow I've agreed to go to High Point tomorrow... and then right back. FUCK. Ah well, At least I'm not driving my own car there.  
     

(I did some time)

 
.Christmas List.   
04:39pm 13/11/2007
  Here, bitches.

CD's:

-Waking Hour, Vienna Teng
-Anything Allison Krauss & Union Station
-Canon, Ani Difranco
-Anything Corrinne May

Clothes:

-v-necks, I love 'em.
-Sweaters, gay ones, only not really.
-Jackets, it's cold outside.
-T-Shirts, Target's got some cute ones.

Material Objects:

-Atarashii boyfriend.
-wrist, neck accessories.
-I'm thinking about getting my ears pierced...
-I still want that Donald Duck tattoo...

-....coffee?
-Shit to make drinks with.
 
     

(I did some time)

 
.Swallowed Pride.   
10:33pm 11/11/2007
  ...So I'm considering just staying home for this semester and saving up for shit and going to the northern campus. Having my car in the condition it's in makes a difference. I think staying home for this semester is the smartest option I have now.  
     

(I did some time)